BoringYetGraceful

originally posted: September 9, 2022

A Dream of Being There

10% of it I'm happy but 90% of it I was not. It was a sweet dream and also a bitter nightmare. Ever since that day I dream of the girl I like years ago, I don't even trust it. Yes, I did made a move, prayed for it with all my heart, alam mo nangyari? Wala.

For this one, I can't believe it happened in a dream, natawa na lang ako pagkagising ko kanina hahaha! With a cringe smirked in my face. I don't even know how we got together, how the dating started and everything, yes I like her but there's ton of things that hinders heaven and earth...like gravity. Mamaya ko kayo sagutin bakit ganito ako. Pero asa kung sasagutin nya ko.

The dream or nightmare revolve around social pressure and ridicule, I know even in Christian circles and family these things exist like how divisions exist, and levels exist, so where is Christ love?

Ewan ko bakit nagkaganun siguro yung POV ko lang talaga iba kasi yun ang nakikita ko eh? The other side of the river is different. Think of church of Corinth, ang gulo diba? Ano ang love kung para ka lang clashing Zildjian cymbals.

It's sweet we became us, but the people and parents is the challenge instead of a help. Parang si Tomozaki tuloy ako sa POV ko sa life in that aspect. Di ko alam if may plus points once those things happen, but it'll be a MIRACLE. Walang forever, walang himala...kelangan bang mag-ask ako sa heaven ng isang miracle.

A Rant of Cowardice

I've already move on from the past 😁 but I cannot say I'm ready 😒. The chills of feeling in love is there. The kilig and everything pero may pero eh. Ngl, I'm praying this situation bakit ganito ako, siguro takot lang masaktan or manakit or ano pa, tapos walang pambayad ng damage fee ng puso. Sana yung mga narereject pwede mag ask ng compensation of damage.

Yung situation ko siguro I can say I love you with the love of the Lord, but I love you in a romantic sense, hindi ako aabot doon. Normal lang naman yun diba? For sure other guys stand in a different ground if the lady is pretty in their eyes or not. It's like why did you attend there? For me atm again, If I fall in love with Venus orrrrrrrrrrr.... how does it feel? .....wala. Kahit isipin ko pa yung tier ng life, parang Lord why?

Can't say manhid dahil sa nakaraan? The love of Jesus is sweet. But romance is a different one. Songs of songs reflects both Christ love and as well the love within marriage but I see it now on the former one.

Do I already give up? I think yes atm. Hirap na mareject. Try mo ikaw kaya? Friends lang talaga eh sorry.

An Apology

Gomenasai for all the rant and random words. Sa ngayon yan ang position ko. Pupusuan ko lahat ng pwedeng pusuan pero hanggang doon lang talaga ako e, I pray na sana there's always a better Christian guy out there for you and it's not me, walang impossible kay Lord malay mo maging tayo..

...magkasabay papasok ng church, kasama mo sya...ako? smile lang.