BoringYetGraceful

The creative in me struggled through the years. It's both an inward and an outside struggle that ends up with either stopping or continuing in a slow process. It reminds me of the parable of the talents in Scripture. Though the last guy there didn't struggle, he didn't put to use what was given to him. What happened next was that everything was taken from him. I don't want to be like that guy.

I learned to draw from a young age. They say I inherited my father's talent for drawing. He was good at it. I loved his handwriting, which I still try to copy From crayons to oil pastels. I enjoyed drawing anime characters like Pokémon and Yu Yu Hakusho. I was in my peak from sixth grade to my third year of high school. Not totally at my peak, but at my peak in frustration.

Comparison was inevitable. No one compared me, but I compared myself to others. I have friends who were good at handling their crafts, and I compared myself to them. This made the frustration even stronger. Then there was that workshop I participated in one time. The final realization of that art workshop. Drawing wasn't for me because there was a change of season. I learned to play the guitar.

It was out of curiosity that I learned my first open A chord on the second fret. My guide at that time was a Christian song booklet. The chord chart was awesome. It took me months to learn and perfect the chords. Fast changes and good sound. I wasn't in a hurry. Learning the instrument entered a phase where I was asked to be part of our church music team.

Three years after my first strum. Playing lead guitar became an addiction. Someone taught me the pentatonic scale and the major scale, which lit a fire in my heart to learn more. Almost a decade passed by. I don't know if I improved or something. I'm into improvising a song, but learning it note by note is a different thing. I also had a hard time learning songs with lots of technicalities. I'm having a hard time even learning via YouTube videos. Check this improvised guitar solo I did from well known Pinoy rock song. The struggle that existed before suddenly came back.

I put love and passion into the instrument. Even though I'm not a professional. Being a church volunteer as a musician was my highest attainment in life for those thirteen years. The musical journey was on hiatus. I don't know when I would return. I did try to join the music team of a certain megachurch. Maybe God has a better plan.

Gladly, the journey sometimes goes on and off. In recent years, I was able to play again, this time as a drummer at a small church, and I was able to teach guitar too. But due to life circumstances, I was on hiatus again. Music was for me, I think, because it points me to the One who created me.

Writing in English is difficult. What matters is the thought I want to throw to the reader, yet sometimes my thoughts are like a whirlwind. Just stop reading and forget all the words I said. Why read a struggling wannabe writer and waste your time on me? Maybe being a creative wasn't for me. I don't know.