BoringYetGraceful

Definitely the month is both cold and hot. It started cold, yes! really freaking cold, I need to put kumot and turn off my electric fan during the endless night. On the other hand, it did rain on its last day, and the heat is on. Welcome to the everlasting summer, did you hear the sound of cicadas screaming? (EVA feels) For the other parts of the world, it is spring (tag-sibol). Though some trees here bloom during April they aren't Sakura though.

The last weeks of March is hot, but I still prefer hot coffee. Cold coffee is for the weak. Hot and disappointing it is, the videoke around the neighborhood is noisy as of writing, but not that kind of disappointment.

I didn't even know I have a scheduled appointment with my disappointment but surely they are on time, like this heat of summer.

Pambihira ang ingay.

Okay back to writing.

Due to the fact I dont have someone to talk to every night (a human), I did try the AI stuff, cool lang, yung init ng ulo binuhos ko sa kanila, the answer is always sorry. Yeah, they don't have any emotion. Should I ask them to write an emo song?

Using them feels like convenient but in times this convenience will take its effect to the human life.

What good does human do for itself? The list can go on but should it pass the absolute standard of God?

Only God is good.

Just loom how we are now. Especially in the US, and the Filipino dream is still to get out of the country.

Tapos mamimis mo kumaen ng tuyo at bagoong? Hypocrite.

Tech is good and bad, China is bully, as well US too, Russia is bad. Philippines are nice.

Sad.

That's the best word for March, there will be a time that the road is difficult to trek and the burden behind our back is aaggghhh! Can we go back to Egypt?

Taste and see.

The month itself is a holy bother too. But the Word tells, taste and see,

Can I lick you Lord? And the angel brought burning charcoal to my tongue.

Iyak tawa na lang...

Not worthy yet still He wants to cling to you.

Ang hirap lang.

Yerin Baek Square (2017) playing in the background...

Praying April will be good.

Grateful Now

The current situation is okay and I'm grateful on things that was given. Yet when you got complacent in the current life's journey, you don't know if there will a storm to come. And yes, it did come and it wasn't a storm, it was an earthquake.

You Need A Challenge

How can you see yourself 10 years from now? Maybe taking vacation in Somalia or Syria, having the best time of my life in Afghanistan or somewhere down in Chicago during winter. I'm not friends with cold weather or cold temperature but I won't be cold at you because I'm hot. A hot, tall, cappuccino, for here please, and the name is “Ehm”.

I know, I am?, somehow right with God, around 60% maybe or lesser or much lesser? yet the challenge did not stop. It's kind of...bothering me.

A holy bother, brother can I have a peanut butter.

Inspiration

Good thing there was an inspiration, and it would be enough for me to be inspired to move in this thing called jinsei. If that inspiration will be taken away by the another lead guitarist, that would be a trigger for me to have perspiration until my heart goes to its expiration.

Sometimes God's glory shine on the face of others even they're far far away. It's not lalaland, it's far far land. LDR looks difficult, locomotive direct repulsion of feelings.

Leaky Horizon

Maybe I'll just focus in eternity and not some cringey romantic love story, what do you think Dorothy who lives in Mary's dormitory?

Written in Fil-Eng

Fitness and health new year resolutions are hot among common people during the first quarter of the year. I, myself are included there, I even prepared during the first week of January, that controlled intake during dinner, strictly consuming quaker oats, yung arroz caldo. Then things happen which aren't included in the plan, why do odd things normally happen? (see Ch.28)

Inspiration

My old gal (my mom) used to walk early in the morning along with her old gal neighborhood pals. They started it, I think during the height of the pandemic 2020-2021. Elders getting stuck at home will physical difficulties, they need to move, and socialize.

During the winter break 2022, I tried to accompany her on one of those mornings. Kasi gusto ko din naman ng time alone with mudra, ang sweet ko diba? I cherished that moment even though we have another older gal with us, 10 yrs older that my mom. The usual path is the neighboring hill with its steep road, I don't know but it's around 20-30°, I used to cycle it up hill during elementary days.

Action

Thanks God, I can move my right elbow na, but I didn't yet push it to the max like doing push-ups. So I decide walking which I do a lot before and after work, bakit hindi na lang ako mag-walking at the meantime?. Growing up is a choice but growing old is given, I can here my body say, wala ka na sa kalendaryo oni-chan, hanggang feeling young and aspring ka na lang. I need to move it, move it.

I'm used to maxing myself during physical exercise, kapag mag-isa ako. Back in 2014 I passed out and puke following that certain HIIT video. My old man saw me that time, “nagpapapawis ka ba o nagpapakamatay?”. Then 2016, I passed out in Capitol Commons after doing burpees, buti na lang yung isang ka-boardmate ko andoon.

I never passed out when I bike. Once I got a fever and took a ride sa daang kuba (much steeper road), headache and chills, the road bike handle bar is full of mucous and puke. Sori naman po, alagain ako. Royal at Skyflakes, gagaling na po.

Future

The balik alindog program is a lifetime goal, even it takes eternity, think of it like, walking literally side by side with the Lord Jesus Christ, in the streets of gold. Nothing can compare one step taken there, to the thousand steps we've done here, and calories/fats we've shave off here while on earth.

Like physical exercise, spiritual exercise is important too. Consuming God's Word, prayer and fellowship with other believers. Physical exercise removes excess fat, while spiritual exercises does not shave off sin, it makes us sin less and turn away from it and turn to Jesus. I think walking in faith with Him is truly a walk to remember. You can find Him in all places and He knows our deep feelings within.

Yung physical na paglakad natin dito may hangganan pero yung spiritual na paglakad natin hindi lang naman sa puntod or urn nagtatapos...simula pa lang yun.

Like physical exercise, spiritual exercise is important too. Consuming God's Word, prayer and fellowship with other believers

Written in Filipino

The literal translation of the title is: paano muling malaglag sa kanal o kaya paano muling malaglag sa hagdan at wala namang may balak sumalo sa'yo, something like that.

It's February, ang malamig na simoy ng amihan ay patuloy pa ring nasa hangin. Yung iba nagdaragsa sa City of Pines, in fact nagsawa na ako doon, the place was better way back then at maraming memeries na..., okay tigil na.

Why not write something warm hearted not hotheaded? Yung tipo bang, mapapa-confess ako dito. Father, ako po ang may sala hindi po si Juan...ilang pirasong lumpiang shanghai lang naman yun, buhay na agad kapalit? Okay ibang confession to.

Sili at sibuyas ka ba?, lagi ka na lang nagmamahal, ako ba mahal mo? Sige ito ATM ko, ano? Gcash na lang? Forward mo na lang QR.

The original title of this one is “to the person I admired”, diba Boiling Waters PH lang ang peg. I did write something sa website nila, hanapin nyo na lang. Iniba ko ang title para click bait, loko lang tito nyo ne? La naman ako paki sa traffic. Siguro traffic lang din kaya di pa tayo nagkikita...hmmm.

His Brightness On Her

Minsan okay din naman i-extend ang emosyon sa salita tulad nito, yung iba tula or kanta, or sayaw then upload sa Tiktok. I prefer words, been doing it since HS. Emotion that flows from your finger tips become something worthwhile, expression sya, kaya sasabihin ko na, ano ba? Hype ba ako. Mejo. Puyat na kasi.

After that certain event in my life, it's a quite struggle. Thanks God kasi alam ko kasama ko sya doon sa epic memeries na yun which turn me around in a new page of this life.

And then I saw a light, wala ako sa Damascus road or disco-house ha, nasa bahay lang, browing IG, then I chatted that person.

This certain person I found something about them, this was back in 2019. Though I knew them in person due to youth camps and church events noong kolehiyo kami, hindi ko naman masabi na nalaglag ako sa kanal, kasi iba yung pakiramdam.

Patawad sa illustration pero pagbigyan nyo na, patunay na si Em ang nagsulat.

Mostly guys are like pag nahulog sa kanal, gusto mong salukin lahat ng tubig at buhangin at laman nito at sabihin na sayo na ito, at minsan babakuran mo pa, kahit hindi pa sayo, makikipag-puyatan, tapos hindi mo malagyan ng label...boom! saan ka punta? Sa ilalim ng buwan? (Gets?)

It's a different feeling that's all I can say. I was on recovery on that year too, hindi ko namalayan na, this person became an inspiration for me to move on further, not just in that aspect of life, but also in faith, and me, ending up being interested about church missions and things about it.

Minsan gagamit ng tao or pwede ring kanal, ang Diyos para mapakita nya ang liwanag Niya sayo.

Weighing The Heart

2019 was a good year at nakalimutan ko sya. I wrote a very short poem that time for them. Just check Walls. May picture ng tao nakatingin sa dagat.

Then the rest of 2019 was, I met a dozen of new faces (if isa ka doon pa-heart naman jan). The hand of God uses certain things to spark for our own good and it is up to us whether we will embrace it or not.

Higit pa sa kanal ang naiisin ni Lord sa layp.

Nakapagtataka lang bakit ko sya nakalimutan? Kasi si Lord nakita ko sa buhay ng tao na yun. Fast forward, does this admiration for that person grew? I think yes, but also not. I'm good about killing my joy and so pessimist when it comes to that aspect of life for myself. I did weight my feelings to them and I gained weight not feelings.

Eyes Set To Him

In my POV, she is only an inspiration I can view from afar (literal na far) and I'm already grateful for that. And yes I do pray for her, lalo na sa safety nya and mabing patuloy sya na blessing sa ibang tao.

Kung ano man ang kalooban ng Diyos sa buhay natin, tanggapin natin at magpasalamat, patuloy na magtiwala sa Kanya, kung ano man ang mga bagay na harapin natin sa layp, hold unto His mighty hands, hope, and persevere in faith.

Christ love is so freaking sweet for real.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. — John 15:13

The significant event happened to me is my elbow pain. It shows the sign of aging and I need to take care of myself. And I also need to look for someone out there that will take care of me (and me to her), kung sino man ang willing jan huwag na magpa-tumpik-tumpik pa, umarangkada na, hala bira. Fiesta lang ang peg?

Nakakatawa lang ang katotohanan maski in Christian singles in Pinoy context, sa sobrang taas ng standard, lampas pa ata ng langit ang bahagdan para pumasa. Well, everyone is praying for it. Malay mo bukas tangayin mo or ka, nya na, bukas. Will you marry her/him? Not me, kasi nautusan lang ako. Hmmm..if you ever like me sorry to say I'm sub-standard in worldly standard.

All I can say is I'm grateful for everything for what God is given this month. Maski dito sa blog na ito kahit walang traffic at walang sense yung topic, minsan, atleast nariyan ka at binabasa ito. Thanks! Mabuhay ka!

Minsan sa sobrang hirap ng buhay ngayon, mas okay na yung mag-isa at wala kang problema, pero iba din yung may kasama ka eh, yung sakit sa ulo ba?, pero alam mo na kampante ka sa kanya. Yung iba ang bilis ng proseso, pustahan bukas sinagot ka na, kasal agad, wag mo ako kunin na ninong ha sa baby nyo.

Sa kabilang kamay naman, mabagal ang usad, yung bang nawala na sa kalendaryo yung edad mo, pumuti na yung pwedeng pumuti unless otherwise kalbo at ako syempre, ibang ang balat natin, crispy dark charcoal black... ayun wala pa din anyari, pero enjoy the season daw, ano to anime lang? Multi season. Lahat filler episode, pero canon naman sa main story na someday someone will come. Parang pastor Sur lang. Jejeje.

Ala una na, tapusin ko na tong kalokohan na ito, minsan ang hirap din maging tahimik kasi, alam mo yun, ano ba? Wala ka bang alam? Basta yun na yun. Salamat.

Ps. Heart react means ayaw kang kausapin (sori naman, ginisang ampalaya sa itlog na may kamatis na ako e)

I hope all is well and may God bless you all.

I'm still thinking what goals for this year. Automatically one of them is reading the Bible and the Christian books I've bought from the previous years.

Add the balik alindog program na lagi na lang nakaka-cancel, last year I got sick during the weeks I exercise. Ending I'm eating more to recover.

Did I confess? Not yet. Alam ko naman na sagot. Sanay na ako, but I'll try and pray for it, whatever God's plan is.

Have a blessed year 2023 ahead.

Written in Taglish

I thought I cancelled the subscription. The due was 24th, I checked the site and it's up and running with the Pro features. GG lang, at P500 din yung kaltas sa debit card. Di bale na lang, sulitin ko na lang hangga't may natitira pang oras ngayong 2022.

Ano ba ang mga pinagbago? Siguro para sakin, I gained weight. All the busyness at work engulfed me, nilamon ako ng trabaho ever since 2020. On the other hand we're trying or by the grace and mercy of God, ibinabalik natin muli yung apoy ng nakalipas, when it comes to faith not romance. God is always faithful, the only issue is us, humans.

I'll talk a little about a layunin for 2023. Siguro balik alindog at balik kay Lord, at siguro love life?

Though I'm eyeing someones (plural). Ang problema lang, hindi ko alam saan ako lulugar, hindi ako marupok (sunog lang), siguro pessimistic lang talaga sa bagay na yun (romance) and then part of me thinking I hope someone, a person, break that barrier parang sound barrier. Yung bang pag nag crash siya sakin, totoo ba ito or nanaginip ka lang?, akala mo siya ako?, maitim po ako ha baka maputi siya. Ayoko lang madisappoint ka (kasi ako sanay na) at alam mo na, di sapat ang kaskas papaya.

Alam ko yung mga bagay na kaya kong gawin once tumawid ako ng bakod papunta kung sino man siya (but not that line, OMG, ililibing ko na sarili ko). Ate andito na me, carrying all those red flags, ano suko na? sa pusali na ba ako? doon ka na kay kuya lodi (by the way this is Christian romantic relationship context ha)

On the other side of the bakod, they are waiting for there Boaz. On this side of the bakod, I'm waiting for a Rebekah. Baka naligaw lang kasi Lalamove ginamit instead Angkas, pambihirang Waze yan.

Siguro aamin na lang ako by January para masaya kahit DM na lang, di magkita sa personal eh.

Uhm, _____-san daisuki-desu!

Tapos rejected.

Boom wasak ang 2023.

P.S. My cheesy line would be: If I ever find right in your eyes, would it be possible that I get involve in your life and also in your heart? basta yun na yun, if ever hindi rin naman yung sagot. Uwian na.

P.S.S. Spammer pala ko ng love letter nung HS, sa isip-isip ko lang. At least kasal na siya. Gusto ko na tumalon sa tulay. Londo bridge para sosyal, ipon muna ko pamasahe.

Hey, it's December and this is the 25th chapter, and I don't know if this would be my last post here as I already cancel my subscription. I still have few days left though, I just lost some motivation and gain some weight. I don't know the reason. I'll search for it if I find some time.

Man, I didn't hit 100 chapters as planned. The 500 pesos per month is heavy, it hurts and I don't write everyday. Ayawan na...

Thank you for the hard work. See you next time. Sayonara. Goodbye.

This is not about falling in love, this is about when a man fall in sin or he is already in sin, and he knew it, he decided it and choose to do it even the call is not to. For a Christian this is serious issue, if the reader is not yet in Christ, please bear with me. I'm just an ordinary guy living the Christian faith and sharing how I walk in this narrow path only few chose.

There's only one solution, run back to Him, the one full of love and grace. Christ already overcome those things at the cross. There are times Believers became Christ-amnesiac and forgot everything He did and forcefully grab the wheel when Jesus already takes the wheel. Then what will happen? Crash! Boom! All those cherish years gone.

One thing about a man that falls down is he is restless due to the heaviness of sin, it will not give him such rest. Only Jesus can give such rest, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He is the gentle and humble savior that saves all who believe in Him yet everyone is questioning Him. But are those who questioned Him really have such rest that they wont be troubled about eternity?

There are two kinds of person who are heavy laden. These two man returned to Christ is different ways. The one, opened his eyes and believe and the other one, God closed his eyes in order for him to see.

The first dude is one of the criminals who are crucified along with Jesus.

“And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our crimes; but this man has done nothing wrong.” And he was saying, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom!” And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” — Luke 23:41-43

I think this conversation between the guy and Jesus is so sweet. The criminal said “remember me” (by the way the guy's life in on the line as he is also impaled in the cross) Then Jesus answers (cause He is the answer Himself) “today, you will be with me” Such words already give you rest.

The second guy is the man formerly known as Saul, also known as Paul afterwards.

and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, but get up and enter the city, and it will be told to you what you must do.” — Acts 9:4-6

The criminals story is suddenly sweet but worth cherishing. Paul's story is sweet too, but this sweet rest in his soul that Jesus gave became a channel to more souls that needed rest during his time.

Different stories but it's the same thing and the same end, it ends both dudes in Christ.

The man in the world today is totally depraved and heavily laden yet he doesn't care, the man already embraced his own truth and put aside the absolute truth that the Bible only can give. It's such a blessing that man is so wise, he can make rockets still land vertically and have enough wealth for the next generation to come but...

“For what does it benefit a person to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? — Mark 8:36

When a man fall down and get stuck and weary...only Christ is the solution to lift him up. Self help books, money, power, knowledge and fame will help but it's not enough...

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30

Did you know there was no rain before, and the first ever rain is it destroyed humanity because of it heinous sin. Only a family of a certain man survived because they made an arc. After that event, a rainbow in the sky was shown as a promise that humanity will never be destroyed again in that way.

Okay, it depends if you agree with me or not, it's up to you but you can read the Bible.

Living in a tropical country, we only lived in two seasons: dry season and rainy season. You can also make it to four seasons, so that you'll have reference for four season countries.

Winter: cold dry season Spring: hot dry season (summer here) Summer: hot rainy season Fall: cold rainy season

I just made up the list above, commonly rainy season starts end of May till around September. During the “ber” months, typhoon is much worse whether it hits the north or south. Recently typhoons almost scope the whole country.

Sunny days reflects happy and cheerful moments in life, it's synonymous to summer. People go to the beach and burn their skin, swim to be chase by some sharks if there's any, but fried sharksfin is good.

What if the sun is above but there's nothing to be happy and cheerful about?, its like the whole world is upon your shoulder, and your name wasn't Jude. Would you wish for a rain and play some sad blues music or some sawi playlist.

Paalam, patawad. Narating na ba natin ang dulo. May dulo pala ang langit. Ikaw ang pinakamagandang pagkakamali ko.

Above are some local heartbroken songs.

On the other hand, being grateful is a good countermeasure if the sun is above but it feels like raining. Tomodachi, chingu, sadiq, my friend don't lose hope. There's hope in Christ, that thing I am sure.